Food for Farts =D

wat is a fart?

-sit down.squeeze ur stomach until u feel wind travelin out your stomach to ur ass.dont squeeze too hard tho.we dont want any "shitty" accidents.

so basically it's the wind that comes out from ur ass with a rely loud/no sound with a reallyy bad/no smell.

after doing a lil research, 4 types hv been identified.

1. the LOUD OH MY GOD HEAR ME FART but odorless type fart

2. the LOUD OH MY GOD HEAR ME FART AND DIE type fart

3. the soft shy type fart that comes out bits at a time

4. the SILENT KILLER. no sound. but you wont miss the SMELL.

yay.

moving on. foods/drinks that make u fart alot:

1) Beans.

hence the song,

"beans beans the musical fruit, the more u eat, the more u toot, the more u toot, the btr u feel so eat ur beans in every meal"

2) Mutton. next time u eat mutton, monitor your farts. mind you, they wont smell so good.

3) Beer / Gassy drinks eg. Coke = Fart.Fart.Fart. Specially on empty stomach.

4) Chewing gum. coz when u chew u keep taking in air which equals Fart.

theres much more where that came from but those are the top few.

then theres the food items that turn your farts into stink bombs:

1) Durian. ha.ha.ha. may god have pity on the soul who sleeps with you.

2) Petai. ha.ha.ha. may you rest in peace after dealing with this fart.

3) Onion. ha.ha.ha. ennjoiiii.

4) Eggs. you have no idea how bad eggs can make ur fart smell.

hence the saying, "what smells like rotten egg??" .it is indeed, egg. yay.

the secret to surviving bad smelling farts, if ur sleeping with the felle, is to eat the same ting.

coz apparently if you both eat it, you wont notice the smell.

i hvnt tried that.

i prefer the "you sleep in the other room" alternative.=D

know this tho, holding in farts aint good. and everyone farts.yes, including girls.

so, go ahead. fart for better health.

ha.ha.

brainfart & co.

powchikapowpow. over n outt.