Tuesday, November 30, 2010

BORDERS

hello lah.it is time for someone either than carmen to make a post.some indian words of wisdom dan segala yang sama waktu dengannya.
so.look at the calendar,your phone or your ipod,and see what month it is.if you dont have anyone of those look at the stars and if you paid attention in standard 5 science class you will be able to tell the month.or wait is that the north south east west thing?
wtv!

ITS DECEMBER BABY!!! CHRISTMASCHRISTMASVEN
UGASBIRTHDAYCHRISTMASCH
RISTMASVENUGASCHRISTMA
SBIRTHDAY.

so its that time of year not where you get presents,but to
the more important stuff,where you become broke and by the time of new years eve you friends call you out and you say 'sorry macha no money im going out with my parents cause they pay for everything:D"

FOR THOSE OF you who do that, its either you dont appreciate your parents, your indian or youre just pure genius and should really consider doing business in the future.

TIME IS FLYING SO FAST.science textbooks should change their text ;
which one moves faster: sound or lightiNG

hello isnt the answer TIME?

ok lame but im bored, im studying and for the past one hour all i have read about is sexual dysfunctions and people with weird disorders.

let me share some of my current intake of knowledge:

BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID.


PENILE PROSTHESIS
THIS IS SO GROSS MAN.some males face sexual dysfunction like where their penis's canot erect.ok thats normal u have definitely heard of this.but how t
o you solve the problem.by doing Penile prosthesis.yes gentlemen and gentlemen, this is a S O L U T I O N whereby you go for operation and they put a metal part in your dick which is connected to some strings and a pump with water.so when you wana have sex, you just bend the wire up and HELLO YOU HAVE A ERECTED PENIS.TAADAAA.and if you wana be more natural about it there is a WATER pump that is placed IN YOUR BALLS, YOU pump it and again TAAADAAAA...your dick goes up slowly, naturally. and when you are done having sex you can casually bend it back into its original position and it s
eems like a normal dick during history class.SUCCESS.HUMANS ARE GENIUSES I TELL YOU TO COME UP WITH THINGS LIKE THIS.

NEXT.
just some foundation information for you.
sadism is a sexual gratification through infliction of pain or humiliation on others.
masochism is sexual gratification through infliction of pain or humiliation on one self.

so there are relationships formed based on this.AND IT HAS A NAME.the sadomasochistic relationship. wherby of them injures and the other receives the injury and they are both absolutely totally happy about it that they are sexually aroused and seek intercourse and achieve orgasm.YAY.

ISNT SEX SUPPOSE TO BE A GOOD PASSIONATE INTIMATE SAFE THING.DID I MENTION SAFE THING .HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

humans are evolving as years go bye.i think the world is ending at 2012 not cause of natural disasters, but because by then we humans would have learned to eat each other and we will all eat each other all all die together.in 2012.
omg studying is so boring.

ok bye.

where's my birthday present!!

Patient driver.NOT.

driving is one of the most stressful activities in the world.

msia.i love.
but the drivers.... "first class".
pls.sense the sarcasm. by first class i meant CRAP.

topic 1: creative drivers.
(double/triple/creative parking.road signs are purely for decoration.)

this group consists of the jokers who never cease to amaze me with the way they park. 2 lane road. almost 3/4 of the 2 lanes is blocked by parked cars.
*HON HON HON HON HON*
my nice lunch hour is screwed up coz of the idiot whu keeps honking n the bigger idiot who triple parked his car.

even better..the jokers who park their cars in front of an empty parking lot.WHY WOULD U DO DAT? is it just funny to do such a ting ar?
"oh yay all the parking is full and i c one place but i dont wana park in it so i'll park in front of it!take that mafakers!"

msians love going against every road sign.
i tink if the road officials want people NOT to turn into a road, they should put a sign stating "sila masuk" instead of "dilarang masuk".

topic 2: people who shouldnt be on the road.
(old uncles on the road.most female (especially aunty) drivers.slow drivers on the fast lane.)

no offence to old people. much respect to them and all.but allowing them to walk itself is dangerous.


and we still have really old ppl driving. i can understand sm of them need to.
but its dangerous not only to them but to everyone around them.
everytime ur in a rush, one old uncle confirm will appear in front of u.=_=

*poof*

slow drivers=bad enough
slow drivers on the fast lane=!@#$%^&.


I HATE SLOW DRIVERS ON THE FAST LANE.
there's a reason its the FAST lane. its not for u to drive SLOW.
in fact, its the total opposite! so to all the slow drivers who have all the time in the world, well good for u but pls stay the hell off the fast lane! some ppl actually drive faster than 20km/h. =_=

topic 3: those who are just DYING to die.
(motorcyclist.taxi drivers.backside followers or tailgaters.)

these idiots (motorcyclist.taxi drivers).
u wana keep them alive.
they keep trying to do otherwise.
u give them space, they want the whole road.
traffic light red, they go flying ahead.
taxi drivers need to learn the fact that spending alot of time on the road doesnt mean they own it.
motorcyclist need to realise that they can actually die.easily.like.very easily.

and we're all dying to just knock them down due to their idiotic riding if it weren't for the law that states "any accident involving a motorcyclist, the car driver is at fault".

owh and to all the idiot mafaking backside followers... BACK OFF LA BELARDY!
theres no space in front!if i cant move any faster how the hell am i gonna be able to let u move any faster?!u sticking to my cars ass aint gona do anything!

but one fine day when the birds are singing and the rainbow is above me,
I'M GONNA JAM MY BREAKS

=D all the best to u. ur gona hv to pay me.=D


topic 4: those I WANNA KILL
(dumass rich i got nice car so i own the road drivers, those who cause traffic jams due to NO REASON AT ALL.uneducated use of signal lights.kiasu drivers.)

note to rich dickfaces who own nice cars.
just coz its a mercedes or a bmw doesnt mean that you can drive like a complete ass.
one day, when i dont love my teddy so much anymore, i'll just decide to make a lovely accident with u.


have u ever been in a situation where you see the road ahead of the car in front of you is clear. smooth traffic.BUT YET u are stuck in a jam. then all of a sudden... THERES NO JAM.theres no reason to it!! ayo i tell u the idiots who cause these kinda situations ar...dno wat shit they have as brains man.

SIGNAL LIGHTS.
are meant to pre indicate where u wana turn.
why so many people only turn it on AFTER they've turned is beyond me.
n those idiots who dont use it..make u wait at a junction wondering if hes turning or not...*u wonder..u wonder..u waitt..n waitt..*
then he turns. then u go MAHAII AHH.

kiasu drivers.
let ppl into lanes laa!omg letting in one extra car aint gona delay u for an hour.=S
some drivers knw u wana join their lane..n they immediately accelerate to stick to the car in front.n then give that smug look like they've won something great.

if i didnt love my car so much, i'd scratch yours.


~~~~~~END~~~~~~

we're lovely people.seriously.=D






Monday, November 29, 2010

screw ups


life can be good.
and can also be a real bitch.

some mornings are great.
some mornings we wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

joke is...hvnt u noticed that when the day starts bad...it never seems to get btr.for that one day at least.

u knw the whole "wake up late, stub toe on wall, slip on soap in bathroom, overburned toast, accident+traffic jam or puchong toll (if ur a puchong resident, u'll undrstand this pain), justin bieber on radio, starts to rain, late for class..etc etc." routine.

other than those conventional ones, some tings make it MUCH worse.

no.1

wake up.straight kena nag.from whichever parent.



gives a whole different meaning to "fire up ur morning".

its like an immediate mood destroyer. u can wake up with the "A NEW DAY TIME TO SING TO THE BEES AND DANCE WITH THE DAISIES" mode... get the *nag*....and become *FK WHY WAS I EVER BORNED".

no.2

having to wake up early.


i HATE waking up early.


did i mention HATE?
as in the "i need 4 alarms to wake up type H.A.T.E"?


(Garfield rox!)
ok.i tink its clear i HATE waking up early.
i can do nights.late late nights.
just not mornings.

when ur going to sleep at "nite"..knowing hw early u need to wake up the next morning..
thats already a bad morning.coz if u can relate to the sentence above, u'll b sleepin at 3am when u need to get up at 6am.=D

sucks.alot.

no.3

cold towels.
i personally HATE cold towels.

like u know the soggy feeling of it. feels so dam yucky.like its all mossy.

another great way to bust ur day.=D

these are the good stuff. warm hot hotel type towels.=D

no.4

cold showers.
this is probably worse than number 3.
cold showers.
where do i begin with my passion for hating cold showers...
actually...cold showers are bad any time of the day.
it makes u turn into a prune coz its so cold.
you go in it and get shocked to life.i like gentle wake ups la u know.
not the "OMG WTFFF COOLLLLDDD"


not only does it turn u into a prune, it dements ur brain n body for as least 5 seconds.
and u end up shivering out of the bathroom.
into a previously airconditioned bedroom.

joy.

things that will then heighten your blood pressure,
traffic jam.=D

things that may ease the burden:

yummy breakfast.


good song playing on the radio.

which ur unlikely to get coz like i said, a bad wake up has its consequences.
chain reaction.


life is tough la.

ha.ha.ha.

btw..hv u ever wondered y parents always tell u "go bathe?" when they know it'll take u ages to move?

bah.
powchikapowpow.=D







Tuesday, November 23, 2010

bad breath


once upon a time,
i encountered something that changed a "lets make out" feeling
into a "omfgifucomeaninchclosertomeisweari'llkillyou" feeling.

bad breath, ladies and gentlemen.
is the cause of that.

if there's one form of advertising that actually tells the truth, its chewing gum ads.
u know the ones that show girls running away from guys with bad breath.


you know how farts are bad?
at least when u fart in public...u can cock stare another person bside u to make it look like its his or her fault.
but bad breath.it comes straight from ur face.and if u say something like "its her not me",
uve automatically pleaded guilty.


im comparing farts to bad breathe coz theyre both pretty gross.
ting is sometimes farts are odorless.
bad breath..can never be odorless.its always bad.duh.


when u have bad breath, no matter how nice u are, ppl will keep a distance from u.unless their alot taller than u. or their wearing a mask. or they have bad sinus problems which cause them not to be able to breath thru their nose.

this is a fact, coz i had a fren once who was DAMM nice but had breath that smells like a salty sweaty ass. n im sory to say this but talking to him was...
barf inducing.


so yea. to ppl with bad breath, dont worry about recycling.or saving the animals. or saving money for you retirement.
until u eat gum or mint sweets. or keep listerin in ur bag =D or brush ur teeth every hour.

coz till u do all that, ur causing 2012.




its worth it.kissing is fun.=D
boomchikawawwaw.



Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Loud mouths. No balls.


people have so much to say about everything.
we bitch about everyone.
we comment about everything.
we complain about every situation.

that's what humans are good at.
a lot of talk.but no action.

so have u ever experienced hearing "Feedback" about yourself from someone else?
by someone else?

this would mean.. you heard it from X. but the comment was by Y. Y told X. X told u.

then have u ever wondered why ppl have the capacity to think about so much critique for you,
spend so much of their limited brain cells coming up with insults,
spending so much of their time analysing everything wrong about you,

but wont have the guts to tell u?

its like discovering a scientific breakthrough for the cure of cancer.. but then not wanting to cure cancer.

you knw another good term for it would be a waste of life.

people who love talking about a particular person and bitching about the person day in and day out.. dont realise wat their actually doing is idolising the person.

i mean its true..they spread stories about that person to ALLL their friends. thats all they talk about. "oh look at her horrible shoes" "i heard shes sleeping with that nerd" "is she seriously wearing a pink bra under a white shirt?"

its like a dedicated monk. chant all day about the same ting. difference is the monk chants about god and goes to heaven. the idiot whos bitching about someone ..well.. goes to hell.
better go become a monk/nun and pray to god rite?


then fast fast die and go to heaven.
do the world a favour.

but then again..who are WE to comment. None of us pray.

kesimpulannye, if you got the balls to talk so much shit about someone, have abit of decency to at least tell it to their face la u knw.

coz ultimately if u want them to change, your fren passing ur comments isnt gonna change anything.
only the person ur bitching about can change his or herself.
so if u tell that person straight in the face about whatever ur sooo unhappy about,
maybe the felle may give a shit and change for the better..


or
turn your face into something everyone else will bitch about.=D

for us tho, this is how much we giva shit to wat you tink.


=D
powchikapowpow.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

the screwed up species of humans

from this generation of humans,
its so easy to see
just how shallow so many people really are.
how fake friends can be.
and how difficult it is to understand humans.

real friends are hard to find.
that phrase is the solid truth.

u may consider a group of 20 ppl ur friends.
u probably mamak with them every other night.
meet up at uni everyday the moment you reach.
sit together, walk together, eat together, toilet together.

all if takes is some one to say someting bad about u..
how many of them will stand up for you?

ur lucky if there are 2.

most people who move in huge groups are really just..
sad confidence deprived people.
in a group, they're strong.
pick them out, i assure u, they'll crumble.
they get their confidence from the group.
once again, take them alone.. u'll c how ez they are to tear apart.

have you ever noticed how certain people are so dam fake?
like when ur walking with a hot guy, SUDDENLY she's great friends with u.
but if she walks past u when ur alone, pandang pon tak.


u knw y this makes life difficult?
coz then the next time u c that person, u dno whether to smile and acknowledge the dumass or buat bodo.

i have a solution.
buat bodo.(translation: make stupid)

real friends arent difficult to understand.
theres noting to it.
coz they're straight up.

those who are difficult,
dont deserve any bit of your brain power to even tink of whether to smile at them.

yeah so you become stuck up.
so wat?
when someone wants to be a bitch,
b the queen of all bitches.

never ever compromise what you believe in just to fit in.
coz it makes u just as weak as the rest who do.
the idea was never to blend in.
the idea was to stand out.



oh btw... annoying and gelabah people..
need to just die.
there's no help/cure for those sort of ppl.
if they don't die, they'll annoy the rest of the world to death.


Friday, September 24, 2010

Music and its consequences


music is a powerful tool.
when ur sad, it has the ability to make u feel sadder and almost suicide-ish.
but if u chose a happy song, u'll get happy.n it really works.altho maybe the hapiness last as long as the song. which is not very long.

im not gna b a hypocrite n say im not one of those idiots who turns on " im all outa love" when i break up.
i am.
its really pathetic.

oh to all the broken hearted out there, im not here to console. but if u wana feel more pathetic about your poor soppy self, do try listening to "kissing you goodbye" by the used.or "so much for my happy ending" by avril lavigne. or "life after you" by daughtry.
rewind rewind rewind.
confirm depression.

happy songs.
i tell u for some freak reason.."lemon tree" by fool's garden will make u smile.its not to say a great song. its abit stupid.but the beat is so happy it'll make u temporarily happy.

then for those who wanna recover from something.
"happily never after" backstreetboys. (this is actually good)
"not afraid" eminem

the current feel good song,
"CLUB CANT EVEN HANDLE ME RIGHT NOW"
=D



ok the point of this post wasnt to promote songs with words.
its to promote the wordless songs.
no..not some trumpet or saxophone playing music.

im talking about trance.
this genre of music..makes u feel NOTHING.
you dont feel anything.
you just feel like dancing you heart off.
head banging along with jokers who cant dance to save their lives.
but its all good.
coz when theres trance... plus abit of alcohol...
nothing matters.
no body cares wat u look like.
no body cares how loud ur screaming
no body cares how many words ur cursing.
everyone feels and hears the same thing..

beat beat beat beat
beat beat beat beat

so this is a tribute and appreciation to trance and techno.
the best music for anytime and any mood.
confirm u will feel nothing.
=D

tiesto, mauro picotto, basshunter, bass agents, dj megara, dj lee, armin van buuren
dan segale yg sewaktu dgnnye.
=)

owh n it doesnt hurt that most of them are HOT.
=D
mauro picotto

tiesto

=D

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

annoying fbkers

yes yes we are going on a rant-about-annoying-ppl fest atm.
just deal with us.
u know u love us. :D



THE-ATTENTION-SEEKER

"Im so heart broken..." "Im so upset ryt now i cant even talk." yea. so upset. but u have all the time in the world to log on to fb and post this. then stare at the computer waiting for comments on ur status. all so that u can say"stop asking me so many questions! this is personal and i dnt wanna talk abt it. MIND UR OWN BUSINESS!" then why the hell did u broadcast to the whole world that ur sad, if u really didn't want ppl to comment? HELLO.


THE - PREACHER

these are the ppl who take the "what's on ur mind" sentence wayyyyyyyyy too seriously.they preach abt everything.
the train system. the goverment. the poor ppl.the environment. indiansmalayschinesedogscatsmonkeysgiraffes. EVERYTHING. they just go on and on and on and ON!! ok we get it. we complain sometimes too. but not abt every single damn thing every freakin' day!! dude, it's a SOCIAL network not a damn confession box. if it really bothers u that much, do something about it. instead of whining like a pussy.




THE-LET-ME-TELL-U-EVERY-DETAIL-OF-MY-LIFE-IDIOT

"I'm waking up." "I had cereal for breakfast." "I'm bored at work." "I'm stuck in traffic." "I just farted."

Oh really??!!! WOW! How FASCINATING! =.= "




Just because u have 697 fb friends doesn't mean we all want to know when you're waiting for the bus.


THE-SILENT-STALKER

These are the ppl who u forgot existed, or maybe too lazy to update their status or write on ur wall. but once in a while, u'll be talking to them, and they'll mention something u posted a long time ago. so u know they're on ur page, all the time. stalking u. creeeepyyyyyyyyyyy.


THE-OBSESSED-INVITER

"Support my cause." "Sign my petition." "Play Mafia Wars with me." "Which movie character are you?" "Here's a drink. What drink are you?" "We're related!" "I took the ' What Ice Cream Flavour Are You?' quiz and found out i'm chocolate! What ice cream flavour are you?"

You probably mean well, but stop. just stop. i don't care what ice cream i am. can't we simply be friends?


Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my fb page :D

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Apparently engineers should be considered hot too.=P

Why you should marry an Engineer Let me tell you why girls should eventually marry an engineer over a Law, Management, Arts or Medical School Graduate. He has three distinct advantages over the rest of the graduates.


Advantage 1: Secure lifestyle

An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that gives him a high income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married and buy a house too.

Law graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice in law firm.

Most management graduates have just failed on their first business plan.

The arts graduate is still looking for a job.

And the medical school graduate is still living in a hospital.


Advantage 2: Unmatchable industriousness

An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time and effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really hard to understand their work. You can believe that they will try really really hard to understand women too, just like how they understand their work, once they believe that you are the one. So even if they don't understand you initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they still do not understand, they will figure out the correct method to keep you happy (e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of happiness.) And once they find out the secret formula, they will just keep on repeating it so that the desired results appear.

Unlike the Lawyer who will argue with you.

The Management graduate who will try to control your spending, The Arts graduate who will 'change major'.

And the medical school graduate who will operate on you.

And you know what, it's really so easy to make engineer s believe that You are the 'one'. Say that you like one of their project and they will be hooked to you forever.


Advantage 3: An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust.

Let me first tell you what is wrong with the rest of the others - The lawyers will lie about everything.

Management graduates will cheat your money.

The arts graduate will flirt, and you probably just look like another cadaver to the medical school graduate.

Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to you about that. Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find - rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you, has no time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to you. plus they r cooler than the others 

its raining MEN.

so i was just telling someone that day how much i hate sisi boys who make up a good 80% of our guy population nowadays.

i dnt noe if its coz of the influence from tv shows, the increasing defective genes causing gayness, or the korean gay bands who wear glitter singlets and studded tights.

so i decided to give tribute to 5 classes of men that i find abso-fucking-lutely MEN.

1. Army

i have tons n tons of respect for army men.
difficult living conditions. no hair gel involved. heck no mirror usage.
buff. fast. with firearms.

i love men with scars.
shows that they've done something with life. not stayed home like some rich bitch getting driven around and cant even change a lightbulb.

these are men.





this includes all other men in uniform. firemen. policemen. bodyguards.
HAWT.


2. Fighters

im a sucker for martial arts.
i love guys who can put up a good fight.
especially muay thai fighters.



HAWTTTTT.

i get turned on just watching their muscles flex when they throw a k.o. kick at their opponent's face.

the idea that their body is a killing machine is soo appealing. =D


3. Dancers

you noe what they say. men who can dance, are good in bed.

ha.ha.

guys who just head bang and move their hands are not considered in this category.
im talking about real ballroom dancers or breakdancers or shufflers.
who dont need alcohol to move.


so long their good at it, it works for me.=D

4. Guys who can handle their cars

girls, in general, are known to be bad drivers.
im not agreeing nor am i disagreeing. coz im not dat great with driving either.haha.

but i cant stand guys who cant park or handle a car.

guys who can handle their car. with speed = hot.

5. Bald buff men.

this really isnt a right category.
but i love men who can pull off the bald look.

and i prefer big sized guys over skinny twiggy guys.
with skinny twiggy guys it feels like i'll have to fight if someone attacked us.