you are a hypocrite when you.....

say you HATE gossips and then you're the first to be there when there's a juicy rumour going around.

see an abused puppy and say "omgggggg poor poor thing! I'm gonna rescue him!"

So you bring him back home and you tie him with the SHORTEST leash you can find and then, you not only leave him all alone in the dark with nothing to eat or drink, you don't even bother playing with him. yea so much for "rescuing" him.

see a cow being slaughtered and say "I'm NEVER eating beef again! EVER!". And then two days later you go to mc Donald's and order a double cheeseburger. =.="

say you're against animal cruelty and then you go out and buy a mink. fyi, where do you think the mink came from?? THE SKY?!

preach to the whole world about some saint and FORCE them to worship him and then you find out about some scandal he's been in and you suddenly become mute. BRAVO.

.

Honey, if you can't practice what you preach, then stfu and stay at home.

Thank you and have a nice day.

brainfart&co.

it's a strange strange world we live in

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. Ever heard of the MICROWAVE??? =.="

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. Now that's more like it.

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. How in the world did they figure this out, and why???

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. I still can't get over that pig thing.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. Is that why Flipper was always smiling? And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Life is so unfair.

The ant always falls over on it's right side when intoxicated. Question. From drinking little bottles of what?? And which moron sits and gives ants alcohol to watch which side it falls over???

Polar bears are left handed. Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out, did they ask them?

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. What could possibly be so tasty on the bottom of a fish pond?

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. I'd rather be a pig. Quality over quantity. =D

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. I know some people like that.

Starfish don't have brains. I know some people like that too.

joy indeed.

Isn't it ironic when..

1. You're late and theres a traffic jam.

2. You've studied everything, except the chapter which came out for exam.

3. You're about to have sex, and there's no condoms.

4. You find a dress that you love, but there's no size.

5. You meet someone you totally like, and then meet his beautiful girlfriend.

6. You use the bathroom, and there's no tissue.

7. You wake up early for class, but find out class is canceled. When you reach campus.

8. You find out the latest gossip, and its all about you.

9. Someone wins the lottery, and dies the next day.

10. Some ppl wear branded things everyday, and some dont even have enuf to eat.

11. It rains on the one day when you have a garden party.

13. Someone waits his whole life to take an aeroplane ride, but the plane crashes.

14. Some ppl have everything, but they're still unhappy.

15. At one point you love that one person like you cant live w.o him/her, but the day you decide to break up, the isnt any feeling at all.

life is just so ironic sometimes.

like how like EVERYONE suddenly loves Micheal jackson after he died.

or how we cry so much over a ppl whu die but we didnt appreciate when they were alive.

or how i keep complaining about how much studying sucks when im paying the university fees for them to torcher me.

joy.

THE WATER BOWL.

How to stop bus drivers from driving fast? Hang a bowl of water next to them and insist that the bowl has to be full at the end of their shift. And the put a CCTV in the bus to make sure they don't cheat. success.

THE FIELD FERTILIZER.

Once upon a time, there was a lazy farmer who hated the job of fertilizing his field. So one day, he came up with this genius idea. By moving a foot or so each day, he was eventually able to fertilize his entire field while he did his morning Sudoku. THIS is a man that should win the Nobel prize.

THE INSTANT ZEBRA.

What do you do when your zebra , which happened to be the main attraction at your zoo die? You buy a white donkey and then paint stripes on it. with masking tape . hair dye . and a paintbrush.

THE P-TREE.

Guys out there. u can stop peeing on walls and bushes because now they have this.

Introducinggggggg......THE PEE TREE!

So now, instead of peeing on the tree, u pee on . a . toilet bowl . tied to a tree.watafark.

u see, this is why we say men are barbaric. why can't u just go to a damn washroom and pee like us??? =.="

THE ASS COVER-RER.

Wanna wear that low-rise-look-u-can-see-my-butt-crack-if-i-sit-jeans?

Stick a duct tape on ur ass first. So we don't have to throw up the lunch we ate 5 minutes ago.

SEKIAN, TERIMA DAN KASIH. BRAINFART&CO.

if you are a woman, YOU HAVE IT.

if you are a man, YOU HAVE IT.

if you are mentally retarded and you went through a genital replacement operation, dont worry you still HAVE IT.

if you are an elephant, you have TOO MUCH OF IT, BUT YOU STILL HAVE IT.

what am i talking about...

YES.

OFCOURSE.

NOTHING ELSE.

BUT THE.

ASS

also know as the backside, behind,bottom,buns, butt, buttocks, and according to wordweb..HINDQUARTES.

THE ASS, a fleshy part of your body that you sit on.
THE ASS, also a pompous fool.
yes we are all born with it, and until now we human beings have still not yet find the exact function of it, if you didnt realize.those round two friends of yours;

• provides comfort when you sit
• reduces the pain when you fall flat
• reduces the sound from your fart bombs
• provides entertainment when you are bored

SOME use it as a material to create masterpieces. as though we do not know the world is round, but painting the world map on a well rounded item certainly creates a 3D effect doesnt it?

SOME find it as a source of entertainment, physically exploring themselves in ways that require a little extra skill and flexibility.

SOME use it as a way to express their feelings and thoughts. those are the ones who still have no control over the body parts on their FACES and chose to interpret their feelings in a more disturbing way.

SOME chose to cut cost on banners during events and they certainly know how to make use of their owned ASSets. SASSY.

SOME just needs to consider donating some parts of their ass to another person.or two.or three four of five.

SOME...SOME..SOME....

and SOME people tend to be overly generous with their assets...

and THE NUMBER ONE ASS OF THE DAY IS...










woooooooohoooooooooooooooo.a natural born ASS.like no other

"ringer ringer roses, a pocket full or posters, ASSES ASSES we all fall down!"

KISS MY ASS.ASStalavista baby:D

the man in the mirror

" you don't know what you've got till it's gone....."

it's been a year since MJ died, though it seems like it's only been a few months.... and for the past one year, all you hear and see is MJ, MJ, MJ. left. right. and centre. i mean the man's dead for god's sake. let him rest in peace for once.

when he was alive, all we heard was, watch out boys! it's MJ the child molester!, or there's the dude with no nose!, or hey! there goes the man who named his child Blanket!. and now that he's dead, all we hear is R.I.P MJ, we love you, we miss you, you were the best, no one can be half the man you were.

radio stations play his songs for weeks. people start dressing like him in talent competitions. tv shows dedicated to him. 5 year old kids cry watching his funeral. watafark. you're 5. you should be crying over dirty diapers and big bird not some dead artist you've never heard of.

kesimpulanya adalah, start appreciating people when they are still around you. the good and the bad. because today might be the last day you talk to them.

and as for you MJ, who cares if you molested a few boys or are missing a nose or named your child Blanket, you created some awesome ass songs and videos and that's all that matters! this one's for you.<3

p.s try to convince god to send you back down to us. tell him we'll give him Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber instead.

Food for Farts =D

wat is a fart?

-sit down.squeeze ur stomach until u feel wind travelin out your stomach to ur ass.dont squeeze too hard tho.we dont want any "shitty" accidents.

so basically it's the wind that comes out from ur ass with a rely loud/no sound with a reallyy bad/no smell.

after doing a lil research, 4 types hv been identified.

1. the LOUD OH MY GOD HEAR ME FART but odorless type fart

2. the LOUD OH MY GOD HEAR ME FART AND DIE type fart

3. the soft shy type fart that comes out bits at a time

4. the SILENT KILLER. no sound. but you wont miss the SMELL.

yay.

moving on. foods/drinks that make u fart alot:

1) Beans.

hence the song,

"beans beans the musical fruit, the more u eat, the more u toot, the more u toot, the btr u feel so eat ur beans in every meal"

2) Mutton. next time u eat mutton, monitor your farts. mind you, they wont smell so good.

3) Beer / Gassy drinks eg. Coke = Fart.Fart.Fart. Specially on empty stomach.

4) Chewing gum. coz when u chew u keep taking in air which equals Fart.

theres much more where that came from but those are the top few.

then theres the food items that turn your farts into stink bombs:

1) Durian. ha.ha.ha. may god have pity on the soul who sleeps with you.

2) Petai. ha.ha.ha. may you rest in peace after dealing with this fart.

3) Onion. ha.ha.ha. ennjoiiii.

4) Eggs. you have no idea how bad eggs can make ur fart smell.

hence the saying, "what smells like rotten egg??" .it is indeed, egg. yay.

the secret to surviving bad smelling farts, if ur sleeping with the felle, is to eat the same ting.

coz apparently if you both eat it, you wont notice the smell.

i hvnt tried that.

i prefer the "you sleep in the other room" alternative.=D

know this tho, holding in farts aint good. and everyone farts.yes, including girls.

so, go ahead. fart for better health.

ha.ha.

brainfart & co.

powchikapowpow. over n outt.

backfired

ok so my best frend n co writer is a fan of the yellow looney and gang.

that's y shes not very right in the head.

we're all not right in the head but shes oustandingly wrong in the head.

little lulu is where its at ppl. little lulu.

remember her? she is the BOMB.

morning afternoon evening.use to catch all 3 shows everyday.

i bet you're looking at this now and going...OHYAAAAA.

if not you're probably goin...."who the.."

wtv the case, little lulu little lulu with freckles on her skin, always in and out of trouble..but almost always in.

=D

written with good taste.unlike the looney who likes spongebob.=P

i love u venuga.=P

yellow yellow dirty fellow.

FIRST AND FOREMOST AND LASTLY..I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS IS THE BEST CARTOON SERIES MADE....EVER!!!

yeah so he is a piece of sponge that speaks...

and yeah he has a pet snail who meows like a cat...

and he works as a fry cook in a burger restaurant run by a crab, and i still have no idea who came up with the whole 'you can have fire under water' theory that was implemented in this LEGENDARY cartoon...

and he lives in a pineapple the size of a house..

and the squid guy has a huge nose when squids don't really have noses...

and the squirrel gave up her cowboy life in texas to live under the sea with a fish bowl on her head..

and they have boating school when boats are suppose to be driven above the water not under it...

and...

and..

there are alot of AND'S!!!

BUT THE POINT IS...its the best cartoon EVERRRRRRRR and i love him even though he is pretty much retarded and he laughs like a complete moron...but if you dont watch SPONGE BOBU SQUARE PANTSU then you have no idea what you are missing people!!!!

toys are made after him!!games are iconed after him!!!he even has a blockbuster movie!!now which cartoon character has that!!!

he is my fuzzy yellow spongy friend and rember guys.....
THIS ONE'S FOR YOU.

venugavenugavenuga.yes its me, the fan.