Call yourself Malaysian if...

1. MAMAK is your haven.

it doesnt matter what the reason is.

it can be due to :-

the fact that you're always broke. like me.

or the fact that the food such as maggi goreng rox your sox.

or the fact that milo ais n teh ais arent better anywhere else.

or the fact that you love to sit by the roadside eventho there's a whole shop lot of civilized shaded indoor tables available.

2. ROAD SIGNS or make that any sign is just there for decoration.

Dilarang menjaja - you menjaja rite under it.

Dilarang membuang sampah - you buang sampah rite there.

Dilarang meletak kerete - you meletak your kereta rite there.

Dilarang turn left - confirm you'll turn left.

3. LAH is part of your daily vocabulary.

No matter how professional u are and altho you dont use it while conversing with your manager and clients, its part of your everyday dialog.

eg. no LAH.dowan LAH.finish LAH.correct LAH.go n die LAH.yay LAH.

4. you cant speak your own language properly but you can CURSE LIKE A PRO in all the 3 main languages.

this includes - malay, mandarin/cantonese, tamil/hindi. or segala yang sewaktu dgnnye.

5. you arnt one of those donkeys who only mixes with your own kind.

eg. chinese boys with chinese girls speaking mandarin eating wantanmee watching hongkong drama series singing karaoke to jay chow songs and wearing calerful socks so high it makes them look like a sohai.

i feel like smacking those ppl. im a chinese btw. so yea. im SO AGAINST RACISM.

you prefer: hanging with your indian ferens and wacking thosai while checking out the hawt malay boys who are sitting at the table in front of you at the mamak.=D

6. you bitch about everyone walking by.

this is undeniable. msians are KEPO. admitted. its not necessarily a bad or a good thing.

we just notice every aunty uncle hawt girl ugly guy weird kid handicap person passing by.

and bitch about all of them. n i mean ALL of them.we dont mean it. its just how mouliu (ntg btr to do) we are. god knows we LUV each other. ha.ha.

7. you think that evryone who's DYING to leave the country are idiots.

i mean.seriously.

msia = good food, nice weather (trust me ive been to 4 season places n it SUX), nice ppl (in general). its just a great place to live and grow up. i pity those who keep worshiping the lands across the seas. coz honestly, it aint that great.

here, its home. =)

and home.is where the heart is.

GERMANY ALL THE WAY!

THIS IS A MAJOR IMPORTANT PUBLIC WORLDWIDE ANNOUNCEMENT.

GERMANY WILL TAKE THE WORLD CUP.

Carmen supports GERMANY. WOOHOO!ALL THE WAY GERMANYYY!=D

Herzlichen Glückwunsch Deutschland! <3

in.your.face.argentinian fans.in.your.face!

20 ways to know if you are a true YINDIAN :D

this is a RUBINI.VENUGA collaboration.

you use words like 'DEI' and 'MACHA' at the beginning and ending of every sentence that comes out of your mouth.

ex: "dei what you doing later macha?".

''macha come lets go thanni dei''....

every other indian you know is somehow related to your family or your life.

when you fight, its not those sophisticated fights where you use guns or skills like martial arts, you just grab the nearest chair and throw it to the persons face.

(please refer to point number 1) if you are a true indian you would know that "thanni" means any form of liquid that has alcohol in it, not the actually "thanni", which means water.

you go to Port Dickson to drink.alcohol.not to play in the sea.

festivals like Thaipusam and Deepavali are not for holy purposes. they are an excuse to get drunk and to "socialise" more. the yindian way.

your parents drag you for weddings and funerals only to find out that the stranger ending their lives are actually related to you in some complicated way which does not benefit you or your life in any way.

when "anak lelaki" / " anak perempuan" is part of your name.

when you are in love, you run around trees and sing songs.

when your parents think that everywhere you go, something bad will happen.

out of all the channels that you get to watch on Astro, you only choose to watch SUN TV, and VAANAVIL .

you are up to date on all the tamil series that air every half an hour which consists of a MINIMUM of almost 300 hundred episodes . EACH.

at weddings, you rush to the buffet table even before the bride and groom ties the knot.

you make use of every opportunity there is to get free stuff.

SAMY VELLU is always the hot topic in your conversations.

you gossip about every other aunty uncle cat dog mosquito fly in the neighbourhood.

when you enter a club, if you are a guy, all the other guys stare at you as though they wanna whack you up and if you are a girl, all the guys stare at you like you're a piece of meat.even if they are married.or old. or dying. =.="

you'd rather eat thosai and uppumma for breakfast instead of scrambled eggs and cereal.

fish curry. fish curry. fish curry.

and last but not least, when you have indian names like MURUGES or KANDASAMY or meenachi or casturi or or or. ok we think you get the point.

nandri.vanakam.bye.

Girls don't get enough credit.

ever since the dawn of human beings, women have always been mistreated. never getting the respect they deserved.

personally i blame this on that eve character from adam n eve.coz she friggin ate the apple, we're still paying for it by getting periods.dam.

eve and apple

anyway.

GIRLS.the female species of the human race. we should be considered the superior gender because..

We can walk.run.dance.jump.in heels up to 4 inches high.

We can wear pads and have periods that bleed like waterfalls but still run marathons.

We have everything guys need. tissue.boobs.ass.good decisions.

we get Ladies night at clubs.=D free entry. free drinks. and if the skirt if short enuf, many more free drinks by guys who'll buy us anything but we give em nothing in return. luvly aint it?=D

we have assets that : if we show too much, we're considered sluts.

if we show too little, we're not attractive.

we need to constantly complicatedly work out the math equations to balance the amount of cloth and skin to look attractive yet decent.

and even after ALL that hard work, we have to go thru social scanning and face the panel of people whu always have something crappy to say.

crap.

We're talented multitaskers compared to men, who are mostly hopeless with multitasking. Look at corporate mums, those whu are Managing directors of some massive firm but still make it home in time to cook for the family. respecctt.

Ever heard the quote, "behind every successful man is a woman"?

president barack obama and wife

We get pregnant and give birth to babies. Giving birth is one of the greatest form of pain known to human. Seriously.

All the great male leaders... Alexander the Great, Napoleon, Mao Tze Tung. They all came from a woman.

Napoleon

Mao Tze Tung

God created human rite? Well mothers give birth to human beings. So shouldnt women be given a higher level of respect since they're somewhat godlike?

There is a song titled "God is a girl".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSfNM-q7f8w

Amen to that.

Brainfart & Co.

Dear You..

disclaimer : highly sarcastic. if you're an emotional sensitive easily offended person. click on something else to read. seriously.

but if you're cool like us, read on.=D

*You are a GENIUS,

if you scored 90+ for add math during all exams in form 4 and form 5.

*You are an IDIOT,

when you believe that the balls hanging behind a male cat's ass is shit.

(this is from personal experience knowing certain ppl) =S

*You shouldnt consider yourself part of any religion,

even though you go to church/mosque/temple every week BUT entertain alcohol regularly or conduct sexual activity with multiple people.

Do the bottles below look familiar? Are you holding one now?

dont bother with your so called "praying".

*You are a FREAK,

when you have earrings which create big ass holes in your ear.

*You are a NERD,

the day you walk around campus with a PSP thinking its cool and then falling down the staircase.

*You are highly SKILLED,

if you can dine in Pizza Hut and walk out without paying the bill.

*You are WEIRD,

if you have a few long strands of hair sticking out from your chin. Even more so if you are a girl.

*You are GROSS,

if you have armpit hair so long it gets tangled with your handbag strap and shows to the whole world.

*You have ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER (or lack of attention syndrome)

When you lie about having leukemia just so you get attention. or wear really big headphones with some weird design everywhere. or dress like you're going to prom for classes with thick makeup and 4 inch heels.

*You are an ASSHOLE,

if you're dating 3 different people at the same time. eventho they're in different countries.

*You are a BIMBO,

if you idolise Ris Low. (if you dnt noe whu she is, click below.bimbo of the century.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Y829i_4EwE&feature=related

*You are a LALA,

if you wear 4 layers of clothes with totally clashing colours at the same time with tons of frills and thick frame glasses with no lenses and high striped socks and full of shiny things in your hair.

*You are beyond FAT,

(this is for guys or girls who have dicks) when you cant c your own dick coz your stomach is blocking your view.

*You are PATHETIC,

if you constantly need to be with friends just to feel wanted. especially when they dont wana be around you.

*You are SLEEPY,

if your eyes are closing. like mine now. kthxbye.

why dumb blonds are..... well, DUMB.

they all pretty much wear the same skimpy skanky outfits

they say amazingly stupid things like this

Alicia Silverstone on her role in Clueless: "I think that the film was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

Paris Hilton talking to press about the US chain store: "Wal-Mart... do they like make walls there?"

Britney on Japan "I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

Jessica Simpson on her mood at the VH1 '05 video awards: "Isn’t it weird I’m getting all emotionable."

they all look the same. big boobs. big hair. small brains. or in some cases, no brains.

their basic vocabulary consists of "LIKE OH MY GAWDDDDDDDDDDDD" , "what-evah!" and "i like rainbows...... and ponies....... and daises...... and...and...and..."................

they all have chihuahuas' which they carry around in those weird bags..... i mean seriously, the dog has legs. and why in the world would you buy. a . bag . to . put . a . dog . in???!

and they always seem to be chewing gum or sucking on a lollipop......

soooooo...... kesimpulannya adalah, blondes are dumb. and weird. it's amazing how stupid one can be.

oh well. that's why god made girls like US . To compensate for the tragic mistake he made. =D

brainfart&co.